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Something Really Hard

Tonight something difficult happened. It is beyond heartbreaking for me. We all want our children to be each others’ best friend, right? It’s just the nature of being a parent I think. Well one of my boys gives the other boy the cold shoulder, alot. After awhile I wonder if it could hurt boy 2’s self esteem.

The scenario: Boy 1 was listening to music in his headphones minding his own business and boy 2 bounces up, like he does, and says “Boy 1 can I hear your music?” Innocent enough. Boy 1 makes a terrible face, as if he has just eaten poop straight from the toilet, and cranes his body away from his brother, as if he was covered in poop straight from the toilet. I sat watching the whole thing unfold in front of me not sure what I should do. Boy 1 says “No leave me alone I don’t want you by me” and Boy 2 steps back as if it just hit him that his brother clearly does not like him. Boy 2’s face falls and he turns toward me kind of looking around the room for something else to do. I am still sitting here wondering what to do. I thought mom’s had all the answers. This same thing has played out over and over but this was the first time Boy 2 clearly noticed the chill coming from his brothers cold shoulder. My heart ached and tears were stinging the backs of my eyes. But there I was sitting in my own living room wondering how to handle the situation.

I called Boy 2 over and said “does it hurt your feelings when Boy 1 does not want to play with you?” and here it is (get a tissue) Boy 1 looks away and says “No I just love (Boy 1) but (Boy 1) doesn’t love me, maybe he will sometimes” – he got it. Boy 2 felt unloved. He has just pressed forward in his always happy ways this afternoon. At what point will that kind of direct dislike start to affect his happy ways? What am I supposed to do as a mom to stop this kind of stuff from happening in my own home? Our own home? I can’t force them to love each other and most of the time I really do feel like we have all bonded well as a family but it’s moments like this when I think “oh my word what have I done?” – it is hard.